Skip to main content

On being alone and self-growth



Recently my relationship with the word ‘loneliness’ and ‘being alone’ has changed.

I’ve always thought of myself pretty comfortable with being by myself, sometimes too comfortable to the point that I’d sometimes get irritated by other people. But I feel like that was a different kind of “loneliness”. In this state of mind, I always thought that I was alone because being with other people would exhaust me. ‘They wouldn’t understand me anyway’ or ‘they only care about themselves, whats the point’. I would attempt to purposefully isolate myself from everyone else because I was ‘too different’ or thought that nobody understood. I guess in a sense that is true. No one is able to understand exactly what you are going through. But this is not a reason to isolate yourself completely from those around you.

We as humans can interact and share thoughts in different aspects even if we are unable to completely comprehend how the other one feels. We are all so unique and so different and have so much to share with the world. We click with some more than others due to a shared experience or interest. We may hang out with someone more one week than the next. People can be inspiring. You can learn from virtually anyone.

But one thing that I’m sure of is that “me time” is also crucial. This is the time when you truly reflect on what you have done, what you are doing and what you can do to realize your potential. This is the time you are given (A GIFT) to focus on your craft and provide what you have the potential to give in this world. This is the time when you are allowed to decide whether to run towards instant gratification or face those problems or tasks that need to be addressed. Many of us choose the former because ‘life is too hard’ or ‘I just don’t feel it’. Along with this, for me, I would use my state of loneliness to fall into self-pity and depression, this inevitably killing my motivation to do anything. 

However, I think it is our ability to face this and to CONQUER IT that makes actually achieving it WORTH IT. If everything was breeze, there would be no value to it. If we are constantly ignoring what needs to be done and choosing the easier option, sure, itll be fun at the start, but those things will be even more daunting in your head and there will be an exponential growth of self-indulging behavior, along with exponential decrease of motivation.

And don’t get me wrong. Family, friends, and social connection are actually very vital for our mental health in general (as I said above, you can learn from human interaction). But you shouldn’t feel PRESSURED to be connected all the time, although social media does make this tempting. You should cherish the days you DON’T have plans, because those are the days when you can really find out how you behave without external factors pushing you. You can observe yourself and see if you run to instant gratification or actually face those problems.

So now I don’t see being alone as a CONSEQUENCE of me pushing people away or of my flaws or my lack of inability to maintain social connections. I see this as an OPPORTUNITY that the world is giving me to perfect my craft, to discover new roads and learn self-discipline, self control and truly reflect on how my mind works. And maybe all those people around you might be doing the exact same thing, you just don’t know it. (And the people that deserve to stay in your life are those that you can share this journey with!)


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

departure

Maybe its meant to be The passing of time Seems to let us free Makes us more carefree Farewell to a friend Hoping for the best That in some other world This journey won't end But long paved roads Take hours to walk down A dragging trip Complacence is found If we can refresh The origin of our motives Healthy company In each other, we'll notice.
Post a Comment
Read more

Is there an emotional brain? (arguments against)

The limbic system has been commonly referred to in scientific literature as the emotional brain. But we know now with more information and advanced technologies that the limbic system is an ambiguous concept, it is what LeDoux says is just a “useful anatomical shorthand”. One evidence that challenges this theory is that areas that are considered unique to mammals (therefore termed the “mammalian brain”) is also present in ‘primitive’ creatures such as reptiles and amphibians. For example, a study conducted by Gilles Laurent and colleagues in 2018 using single cell RNA-sequencing technology showed that the neurons of the pallium of reptiles had similar genetic makeup to that of the hippocampus and amygdala of mouse and humans! These areas are what MacLean included in the limbic system theory, yet they are present in these ‘lower’ animals. Moreover, the same study showed that the anterior dorsal cortex of the pallium in reptiles was similar to the human neocortex, which is a layer ...
Post a Comment
Read more

no holidays

i used to think of holidays as this getaway period of time when the world would let me take a break from everything. But really, its never like that. We never really get away from it.  This can’t be taken purely negatively or positively. It’s just the reality.  We can take our breaks and let our bodies rest, but the things in life never really stop.  Perhaps creating a daily ritual and habit, a consistency in activity, that doesn’t require escape is the most ideal option.  Life does not purely consist of the programs that external influences put on us. They’re merely there to keep us on track.  So even on ‘holiday times’, its important to keep a steady pace and rhythmicity to what you are doing, every day aligning with your goals. Do not let the world command when your break is. You decide that for yourself.  Ofcourse you can have vacations, and days off when you reset and rethink about the core of what it is that you are doing. But these mo...
Post a Comment
Read more