mind & heart = spirit

Something I've noticed after losing touch with technology for a short while is my habit of constant consumption.  I've recently realised that I actually struggle in silence. And not just auditory silence, but the silence of everything. Silence of the mind. I guess another term to put it is boredom. The time interval between school and work. The morning commute. The couple hours before sleep. The moments after waking up. I have this tendency to want to fill every 'empty' space with noise . So I turn to social media and trying to distract myself with other people's lives, subconsciously wishing I was some place else. Getting caught up in what the world is providing me with, instead of thinking about what I could provide to the world. But with my usual cycling of thoughts during this silence, putting my electronics down for a second, I noticed that that silence is not empty at all. In fact it teaches you so much more than any app ever could. Lessons about yourself...

There's so many things I want to do. That I want to experience. I want to live a life of color and vibrancy. I want to be able to look back on this life and truly say that I experienced it all. But there's greed to that statement. There's the assumption that tasks and skills are something you can just check off a checklist and be done with. The assumptions that these things don't hold more than just words or stories to tell. It's never that way. To do something you want to do requires time and effort. Overcoming difficult emotions and thoughts. Prioritisation , sacrificing immediate pleasures to really put in time into that something. Because the things we ACTUALLY want to do is because we see value in and treasure the lessons and experiences that task has the potential to give us. Once I really think about these, I can cross off those things that are merely wishful thinking. Sometimes its hard. Sometimes I feel like I will never really get to those high-rea...

We’ve all heard so many affirmations like everything will be okay. It’ll all get better eventually. The light at the end of the tunnel. Just hang in there. All of these reassurances are based off of the present reality not being what you want it to be. The assumption that you are not satisfied with what is happening in your life right now. That you have to go through some kind of suffering, a debt, to achieve that something you want. On the surface, this may be true. Nothing ever truly worth it comes easy. You are never given a one-way ticket to success. And sometimes facing that reality is what a lot of people struggle with when achieving their goals. And the light at the end of the tunnel is supposed to be some kind of motivation, knowing that things will get better once we get passed this suffering. As if every struggle in itself will dissipate once you’ve attained that one thing you are working towards. But personally I feel like that puts so much burden on every day life...

I think I have a tendency to want to control other people’s lives. It may sound selfish when I see it this way, but I like to think that it’s a subconscious motive that originates in how I see my life and others. I like to think that what we put out in the world can be overall generalized as ‘energy’. I converse with people, I share things and do certain things with the intent of putting out ‘positive energy’. Hoping that an exchange of opinions or values or forms of expression will assist the people around me to grow in a desirable manner, to grow as a whole. But sometimes I get carried away. I get into these habitual cycles of sharing certain things or strongly stating my point of view in an effort to change people’s view entirely. This is when the line crosses over to selfish. This is something that I am willing to fix every day. This is something that takes gradual compromise, empathy and understanding. Moreover, this is the source of these things. We are unable t...