I’ve been through all these transformations I’ve changed in ways I never thought possible And sooner than I expected I’m truly grateful… but… I keep thinking back to the things that used to stop me Maybe its just my environment that’s shaping me Instead of my intrinsic qualities Maybe its because I feel so comfortable here That I can explore all that I want I hate to admit it I felt different there I looked different I spoke less freely As much as it seems like home I didn’t fully integrated with it I thought ethnicity was a construct But I feel its deeper than that Even going back to it now I can’t say that it doesn’t bother me The extended stares The “konnichiwa” at the airport What if I carry this insecurity with me Through countries that isn’t my mother country Will I be as free-thinking As I feel now? In another world I will feel different there I will look different I might not be as outspoken Could I be