Skip to main content

advice to self on connection

we're all confused about what the hell we are doing in this world.
At least I am...
But one thing that I'm pretty clear about is that we are all confused together. If one person had the answers we all would.
Although we do not have answers, we can spend time together in what may be the pointlessness of life or the meaningfulness of it-
discussing its intriguing features as if its this mystery, this puzzle that's waiting to be solved.
But to expect that connection from understanding is one thing. Without willing to truly understand and empathize with others,
to let down your guard and your biases to try to understand another person is how you understand the world
and social phenomena, why people behave the way that they do, why they may be lacking the connection you think you deserve. 
You can't expect to receive any kind of understanding or empathy without first being in the vibration to give that to other people.
We're all just waiting for the other person to take the first step so we have a reason to give back. But if no body steps forward first, this reciprocity doesn't even begin.
Give out these things when you can. Most times, people may take advantage of it, take it for granted or not reciprocate. Don't take it personally or to heart, these people are travelling in their own
trajectory and things will be how they are meant to be*.  If you cannot trust a person, it is not your fault that you cannot trust them but a mutual disagreement in values and paths of growth.

*Do not blame yourself for things turning out the way that they did, do not bring yourself and your character down just because it did not match theirs. But also, stop blaming the other person for acting the way that they did and don't put blame on them for you reacting the way that you did.

The only way to make the pain of that drifting boat a little more bearable is to just let it go, to let things be. 
    If that means distancing yourself from them, let your feelings flow as they would--mostly in the case where your efforts and understanding are not reciprocated.
    If letting things be is you wanting to understand and be there for them because they are worth your time, follow that intuition.
    If that is understanding their intentions but deciding they aren't good for your inner peace, that's another plausible option.

There's so many ways that one would react to a situation, there are no rules and every circumstance is different (I'm starting to think that the universal rule in self help books to immediately get rid of people that are toxic only applies for specific situations). But one constant is not blaming the separate entities and their character, their path or their flaws in things turning out the way that they did. If a puzzle doesn't fit, you either mend the broken pieces or move onto another puzzle.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

on empathy & kindness

 i've learnt so much about empathy and kindness and love these past few months  i always expected another person to show love for me,  before i can give it to them.  and if they did show love from the start, i always thought there wasnt a reason to. that they were just desperate, or being crazy, irrational.  but if we all think like that, no one will ever take a step forward  (luckily not everyone is like this, and we can heal eachother) i ran away from people that showed me love but i also never gave people that love either  we should be kind to people, as they are  without expecting reward or praise or something back from them.  if they are willing to accept that, then good if not, then such energies should be attributed elsewhere (you can't pour tea into a close pot) if they return that love, we should accept it and not question it (when someone opens the door for us, do we question why they're doing it? no) no matter how bad his bad habit...

arguing

I'm just so sick of arguing with people It's not a good feeling when you are both yelling at each other to prove a point And to be quite honest, its not worth it I used to gain so much joy from these things Thinking it was discussion and evolving or something Maybe intellectually we were getting somewhere But spiritually, emotionally, it was all degrading Speaking over each other Making the other person feel uncomfortable Experiencing that first hand and realizing that you never ever Want to make the other person feel the way that you did. When things come from the intention of empathy and mutual love, This is when things actually grow Not when you’re creating walls of opinions But when you connect through shared differences And acknowledgement of this diversity This is where true evolution happens

departure

Maybe its meant to be The passing of time Seems to let us free Makes us more carefree Farewell to a friend Hoping for the best That in some other world This journey won't end But long paved roads Take hours to walk down A dragging trip Complacence is found If we can refresh The origin of our motives Healthy company In each other, we'll notice.