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advice to self on connection

we're all confused about what the hell we are doing in this world.
At least I am...
But one thing that I'm pretty clear about is that we are all confused together. If one person had the answers we all would.
Although we do not have answers, we can spend time together in what may be the pointlessness of life or the meaningfulness of it-
discussing its intriguing features as if its this mystery, this puzzle that's waiting to be solved.
But to expect that connection from understanding is one thing. Without willing to truly understand and empathize with others,
to let down your guard and your biases to try to understand another person is how you understand the world
and social phenomena, why people behave the way that they do, why they may be lacking the connection you think you deserve. 
You can't expect to receive any kind of understanding or empathy without first being in the vibration to give that to other people.
We're all just waiting for the other person to take the first step so we have a reason to give back. But if no body steps forward first, this reciprocity doesn't even begin.
Give out these things when you can. Most times, people may take advantage of it, take it for granted or not reciprocate. Don't take it personally or to heart, these people are travelling in their own
trajectory and things will be how they are meant to be*.  If you cannot trust a person, it is not your fault that you cannot trust them but a mutual disagreement in values and paths of growth.

*Do not blame yourself for things turning out the way that they did, do not bring yourself and your character down just because it did not match theirs. But also, stop blaming the other person for acting the way that they did and don't put blame on them for you reacting the way that you did.

The only way to make the pain of that drifting boat a little more bearable is to just let it go, to let things be. 
    If that means distancing yourself from them, let your feelings flow as they would--mostly in the case where your efforts and understanding are not reciprocated.
    If letting things be is you wanting to understand and be there for them because they are worth your time, follow that intuition.
    If that is understanding their intentions but deciding they aren't good for your inner peace, that's another plausible option.

There's so many ways that one would react to a situation, there are no rules and every circumstance is different (I'm starting to think that the universal rule in self help books to immediately get rid of people that are toxic only applies for specific situations). But one constant is not blaming the separate entities and their character, their path or their flaws in things turning out the way that they did. If a puzzle doesn't fit, you either mend the broken pieces or move onto another puzzle.

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