mind & heart = spirit

i used to think of holidays as this getaway period of time when the world would let me take a break from everything. But really, its never like that. We never really get away from it.  This can’t be taken purely negatively or positively. It’s just the reality.  We can take our breaks and let our bodies rest, but the things in life never really stop.  Perhaps creating a daily ritual and habit, a consistency in activity, that doesn’t require escape is the most ideal option.  Life does not purely consist of the programs that external influences put on us. They’re merely there to keep us on track.  So even on ‘holiday times’, its important to keep a steady pace and rhythmicity to what you are doing, every day aligning with your goals. Do not let the world command when your break is. You decide that for yourself.  Ofcourse you can have vacations, and days off when you reset and rethink about the core of what it is that you are doing. But these mo...

everything feels so all-consuming everything a whirlwind of confusion contradiction after contradiction an inescapable moment years flash before my eyes what have i done here? what have i seen? im still young they say but where have i been? every moment awake is a second lived every step a shift in direction what separates right from wrong what makes the correct path it all means nothing i am aware but i feel that time is swallowing me whole

my mind travels back and forth between future and past how it will feel when all this is gone when i am disassociated from my sense of self an overwhelming amount of discomfort as i imagine all of what i know disappear, along with the spirit that can be aware of it all a flip of the coin reveals an urge to explore to ease this uncertainty seeing all the crevices of this earth to be able to one day be one with it all to accept the nature of death

some thoughts what ive been holding on to this whole time this image of my life this perfect world my perfect life and sense of self will all disappear eventually this world that ive been hoping for myself this world that ive created in my head will disappear with the dawn of time and eventually, all will turn to white or whatever color my energy prefers every pleasure, every pain will no longerer be attached to this body only the energy that was transformed during this life will gravitate to new places or dimensions how much i fear death the burden it carries around me just shows im not ready yet to see the break of new life i want to get to a place where im comfortable with the idea of no self live fully the way my true energy desires not distracted by time consuming things focusing on what serves me and others that helps this universe transform that helps me get an inch closer to being okay with 'the end' right now it all seems unimagineabl...

all you are experiencing now that's just relativity another person's mind is a different dimension we navigate through each others perception this mindset is the core of empathy we can't take off each other's lenses we can only swim through surface-level and language

i guess i just don't worry as much about stuff that hits on a human level i'm more worried about the organism level, what this all means what it actually is at the core shopping, position, surface level relationship rules, hobbies and bragging these are all just social phenomena, that if you just look at objectively really do not matter it's more about what makes you and others feel good and I guess thats what i hold value in the most Ofcourse, these things may make us feel good in the moment, and really that's all that matters. no need to attach yourself to them though if they aren't making you feel good. touching music, loyal friendships, learning/understanding, family, feeling and thought beauty, art, expression, giving, abundance, evolution, peace and harmony, individuality  these are what are at the core, these are the things i seek