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some raw things


There are times during the week where I would just break down. Not knowing what there is left to do, id sit down by the pond in a park like I am now and just watch the water glistening and flowing. 
When you’ve thought all there is to think and you’ve spoken all there is to speak sometimes the best u can do is just sit and listen and feel 
And just let it out. It’s okay to feel like this. 
It’s okay to not want to speak to anyone for a month straight 
It’s okay to feel as if you aren’t doing enough. Because to suppress such thoughts would be ignoring your instinct. And nothing is as suffocating as that feels 

Times like these help me to reset. To start from square one. To reconsider what it is that you value after thinking about having nothing 

And most times it may feel like you are never enough or that you have to be riding this train called time , constantly being pushed to the next thing 
But you don’t. Because to not feel life as it is in the moment is worse than missing that deadline. 
Because if you don’t feel, you are in some ways ignorant of what it is you’re doing here. 
You are not a robot or a machine that can spew out information or retain everything you hear. You are not some perfect being that achieves everything beyond imaginable. You are more than that. You are human, you have the ability to feel freely and control your moments. You are allowed to have waves of emotion and color and experiences. You are allowed to go through things and to allow room for wandering and suffering and the constant cycle between them. Because you will never come back to the same exact moment like a gear in a machine if you think of everything single experience as new and worth learning from. If you think about it you will never EVER be in the same circumstance or situation as you are right now. 

----

It’s these moments of sadness that make me most at peace 
Cause I see things for how it truly is 
No sugar coating or hyped up optimism 
Nobody is any better at this. We all face our own unique circumstances 

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