Recently my relationship with the word ‘loneliness’
and ‘being alone’ has changed.
I’ve always thought of myself pretty
comfortable with being by myself, sometimes too comfortable to the point that I’d
sometimes get irritated by other people. But I feel like that was a different
kind of “loneliness”. In this state of mind, I always thought that I was alone because
being with other people would exhaust me. ‘They wouldn’t understand me anyway’
or ‘they only care about themselves, whats the point’. I would attempt to
purposefully isolate myself from everyone else because I was ‘too different’ or
thought that nobody understood. I guess in a sense that is true. No one is able
to understand exactly what you are going through. But this is not a reason to
isolate yourself completely from those around you.
We as humans can interact and share
thoughts in different aspects even if we are unable to completely comprehend
how the other one feels. We are all so unique and so different and have so much
to share with the world. We click with some more than others due to a shared
experience or interest. We may hang out with someone more one week than the
next. People can be inspiring. You can learn from virtually anyone.
But one thing that I’m sure of is that “me
time” is also crucial. This is the time when you truly reflect on what you have
done, what you are doing and what you can do to realize your potential. This is
the time you are given (A GIFT) to focus on your craft and provide what
you have the potential to give in this world. This is the time when you are allowed
to decide whether to run towards instant gratification or face those
problems or tasks that need to be addressed. Many of us choose the former
because ‘life is too hard’ or ‘I just don’t feel it’. Along with this, for me,
I would use my state of loneliness to fall into self-pity and depression, this
inevitably killing my motivation to do anything.
However, I think it is our ability to face
this and to CONQUER IT that makes actually achieving it WORTH IT. If everything
was breeze, there would be no value to it. If we are constantly ignoring what
needs to be done and choosing the easier option, sure, itll be fun at the
start, but those things will be even more daunting in your head and there will
be an exponential growth of self-indulging behavior, along with exponential
decrease of motivation.
And don’t get me wrong. Family, friends,
and social connection are actually very vital for our mental health in general
(as I said above, you can learn from human interaction). But you shouldn’t feel
PRESSURED to be connected all the time, although social media does make this
tempting. You should cherish the days you DON’T have plans, because those are
the days when you can really find out how you behave without external factors
pushing you. You can observe yourself and see if you run to instant
gratification or actually face those problems.
So now I don’t see being alone as a
CONSEQUENCE of me pushing people away or of my flaws or my lack of inability to
maintain social connections. I see this as an OPPORTUNITY that the world is
giving me to perfect my craft, to discover new roads and learn self-discipline,
self control and truly reflect on how my mind works. And maybe all those people
around you might be doing the exact same thing, you just don’t know it. (And
the people that deserve to stay in your life are those that you can share this
journey with!)
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