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paradox

i only ever feel like i belong
when i am talking about or listening to real things
real things that matter

like why we are on this earth
what we can do as a collective to prevent hurt
encourage understanding
embrace our pains

and how no one can really understand you
how we only get fragments of eachothers to resonate
how we express the parts of us that we hold most valuable in our hearts

i guess thats what makes community so isolating and worthwhile at the same time
we share bits and pieces but never fully ourselves

but theres a paradox in my way of thinking
helping people starts from your neighbor
but i turn my back on them
saying i need to focus on my career
to help others
whats the point of this hostility

a never ending question
circling my brain

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