mind & heart = spirit

This is the unconscious moving before anywhere else Frontal lobe activity is delayed more than ever Blurry. Delayed awareness. We move how we want to. Why do I feel this fear? Fear of being abandoned Fear of being left alone: unsupported From the tribe To have to prove myself to others WHAT IS THIS FEELING instability all the time Is this where all humanity lies? On a tight rope Between loopy and strict Too much of anything can be bad Trust is need He'd never ask that question Although he officially disapproves Cold but burning tears Something in this human world, that represents the spirit and mind But to leave an artifact, we need access, a door. Meditation, Real life, Mind Challenging Things these allow us to see all sides of ourselves To feel connected with death and feeling

I look up to the people that are able to carry out things lightly Not that these things don't take hard work and effort But their trust in themselves that what they are doing matters The way they are able to gravitate in a certain direction without any initial hesitation And this is what I lack, I let so much of my judgment in my brain run the course of my life Instead of letting things be, letting nature run its course How many days am I filled with thoughts that stunt my motivation In some ways, it is better to follow your heart, that instinct. And these messages keep coming back to me through literature and experience The art of archery requires complete interaction with the subconscious being, letting go of the idea of yourself and trusting your natural instinct. To be a master of the movement that's required for this art, you need to stop thinking about the target and let your motions dictate the course of the arrow. Even in neuroscience, there's researc...

i only ever feel like i belong when i am talking about or listening to real things real things that matter like why we are on this earth what we can do as a collective to prevent hurt encourage understanding embrace our pains and how no one can really understand you how we only get fragments of eachothers to resonate how we express the parts of us that we hold most valuable in our hearts i guess thats what makes community so isolating and worthwhile at the same time we share bits and pieces but never fully ourselves but theres a paradox in my way of thinking helping people starts from your neighbor but i turn my back on them saying i need to focus on my career to help others whats the point of this hostility a never ending question circling my brain

I tend to fail to live by this  quote. So many thoughts rushing through me at million miles an hour, i feel like i have to catch it all the time. To the point that I don't ever execute an action based on these thoughts. Planning repeatedly, inside my head and outside of it. Planning a course of action, thinking of all possible scenarios.  But this isn't authentic living, I feel like. As discussed in this quote and the book I'm reading (The Consciousness Instinct by Michael Gazzaniga), it is not  thoughts that bring food to the table or that get that task done. It is the physical movement of muscles. It is not thoughts that allow the exploration of art, music and the likes. It is the movements of picking up that pen, that paintbrush, that guitar and physical making something out of it. Of course I find a lot of value in manifestation and visualization. It's important to set straight what it is you want to do... But a task for myself, just forget  that visio...

so much resistance in everything I do blaming fatigue when ive too much sleep cleaned the table twice but not clean enough for me so much possibility and expansion ahead the only way is to propel myself forward but what will happen to it all once i'm long gone and dead the common crisis amongst nihilists yet its so hard for us to deny that we still all crave the same things belonging and affection, appreciation no one has a single clue what this is what it is we are doing here what this will all mean in the end or whether an end exists learning to be okay with that to float through this unknown without fighting against chaos is the biggest strength of all

i used to think of holidays as this getaway period of time when the world would let me take a break from everything. But really, its never like that. We never really get away from it.  This can’t be taken purely negatively or positively. It’s just the reality.  We can take our breaks and let our bodies rest, but the things in life never really stop.  Perhaps creating a daily ritual and habit, a consistency in activity, that doesn’t require escape is the most ideal option.  Life does not purely consist of the programs that external influences put on us. They’re merely there to keep us on track.  So even on ‘holiday times’, its important to keep a steady pace and rhythmicity to what you are doing, every day aligning with your goals. Do not let the world command when your break is. You decide that for yourself.  Ofcourse you can have vacations, and days off when you reset and rethink about the core of what it is that you are doing. But these mo...

everything feels so all-consuming everything a whirlwind of confusion contradiction after contradiction an inescapable moment years flash before my eyes what have i done here? what have i seen? im still young they say but where have i been? every moment awake is a second lived every step a shift in direction what separates right from wrong what makes the correct path it all means nothing i am aware but i feel that time is swallowing me whole