ALWAYS overreacting to small talk haha

they ask me what i do to pass the time
but it never has been like that for me
i never just 'pass the time', i never want to live that, trying to get
away from the reality of silence and stillness just for the sake of it,
for the sake of a hobby
and i hate beating myself up for not being interesting enough to not
have some kind of cool hobby that means alot and that people think is wow
I'm so caught up trying to be mentally present and rewiring my habits and thought
processes right now. So when they ask me how I spend time, isomehow i just answer... nothing much,
but really, it is everything... im twisitng and turning through my life
and feeling it for what it is... that is my hobby. i cannot put that into boxes of categories
or sugar coat it even if i wanted to, because it would lose its meaning.

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mind & heart = spirit

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