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not always too positive



The world is moving so fast, i cant keep up 
Im not sure what to do anymore 
Life gets so overwhelming sometimes 
I often feel like i am suffocating. I cannot breathe 
Always being watched 
Constantly something i have to do 
Trying to pull it together but often falls apart 
Where do we go from here 
What truth am i supposed to see 
So so so lost 
And afraid to admit it 
Shame on top of shame piling up on each other 
The guilt of a bad day 
With only myself to monitor 
Hoping for better days 
But hoping that i stop hoping for better days 

 apparently i'm not supposed to feel this way
always the victim
but at the same time i should follow my instincts
the burden of choice
i guess this is the "strength" of a mind
the weak and confused are left behind
Certainty conquers the material world

Being intimidated by the calmness of others
Mind in frantic hurry 
A search for something that’s supposed to exist within me 
Back to the old days 
They are embedded within me 
Constantly following rules 
Being killed by them slowly 
Spiralling out of control 
No love left to give 
Very little in the first place 
These emotions they come and go 
They are waves, i am an ocean 
Trying to reach land 
Never truly fusing 
Not a step forward 
Just slowly tilting in a certain direction

 Going around in circles realization after realization
but the foundation never lies

Back there again i guess




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